Never Surrender
by ZachaRicO
Summary: A devastating loss causes Ash to become depressed. When his mind is flooded with negative thoughts, how will he cope? Based on the song "Never Surrender" by Skillet.


**I've been having a bit of a hard time lately, which is partially why Adventures in Alola hasn't been updated. Sorry about that. Anyway, I wrote this in order to cope with all my struggles right now. It's based on the song "Never Surrender" by Skillet, which I've been listening to during this hard time. Enjoy.**

 **Cover art is "Lonely in the rain" by NikoSatoshiketchum on DeviantArt.**

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Ash Ketchum sat on a log staring at the sunset with a frown. The last rays of the setting sun cast brilliant hues across the sky, creating a glorious splash of color as it sunk into the ocean. The normally-blue sea was colored golden under the sun's light. A light breeze blew across the area, lifting some sand into the air. Some Wingull flew above, looking for a place to rest.

Ash sighed heavily and leaned forward, resting his arms on his knees. Behind him was a large stadium where he participated in a big tournament. He'd made it all the way to the finals only to get wiped out by his opponent after barely defeating only one Pokemon. Normally this wouldn't be too big a deal for him, but it was different this time. Rather than simply using the Pokemon he had on hand during his journey, he decided to call in all his most powerful Pokemon from back home. Knowing how tough his opponents would be, he figured he'd have a fighting chance. Yet in the end, despite using his most seasoned Pokemon, he still not only lost but got completely wiped out.

As he recalled this, he clenched his teeth and seethed. He was so angry with himself as a trainer right now. He thought back to every time he left home to go on a new journey to a region he'd never explored before and how he always promised his friends that he would win only to break his promise. He remembered walking out of the stadium after this tournament in particular and how the fans jeered at him. He clenched his teeth as their voices screamed in his mind, and he felt water begin to leak from his eyes.

He said when he entered the stadium for his first match that he wouldn't surrender. He never surrendered; he never gave up until it was over. And yet when that final match ended, he had no choice but to do just that. He felt like he had betrayed himself even though it had been a fair loss. As he looked to the side, he saw a shard of a broken mirror laying half-buried in the sand. He saw his reflection.

He jerked his head away and shut his eyes tightly. He hated what he saw in that mirror and wished so desperately that he could erase it away. He hated whoever had conveniently left that mirror share in the sand in the first place. He hated all those people who mocked him after he lost.

But most of all, Ash hated himself.

He felt like a failure. He always talked about his dream to be the world's greatest Pokemon Master, but he could never win. From Kanto to Kalos, all he had following him was a streak of losses. He began to wish he'd never left home, cursing that fateful day as the tears began to fall. He wondered if the world would be a better place if he had simply never been born.

Just as these thoughts of despair began to overtake him, he felt something soft pat his side. Though the anger, the hatred, the mocking of the fans didn't fade away, he managed to hold them back for a moment to look at his companion. It was his first Pokemon and best friend Pikachu, who had been his last Pokemon in that battle. He looked at his Pokemon and sighed, turning his face away. He didn't want sympathy right now. He just wanted to be alone. The voices in his head came back for a moment as he sat there.

Pikachu, however, didn't give up and patted him again. The voices slipped back into his mind again as he looked at his Pokemon, wiping some stray tears from his eyes. He saw that Pikachu looked just as upset as he did, though to a much smaller degree. The little Pokemon walked up and nuzzled him softly. Stroking his fur, Ash looked up and saw that all his Pokemon were standing behind him, somber expressions on each of their faces: Charizard, Sceptile, Heracross, Krookodile and Greninja.

For a brief moment, the anger and self-hatred returned, as he beheld the reality of his failure as well as whom he had failed. He promised his Pokemon that they would grow strong together, but instead they were cursed with a weak trainer who had no credit to his name. This only made him feel worse, and tears began to return to his eyes as he heard the fans mocking him once again in his mind. He shut his eyes tightly and clenched his teeth. He felt like running away. These Pokemon deserved better than a failure like him.

That was when he felt something cover him. For a moment, all the negativity that had tortured him faded as his eyes shot open. He then felt something lower over him as though in an embrace. After taking a moment to recover his senses, he realized what was going on: his Charizard was hugging him. Then he felt something wet and affectionate lick his face. He grimaced a little and wriggled out of the embrace, wiping his face off.

After that, one by one, each of his Pokemon showed him a sign of affection that reminded him that they were still loyal to him. They didn't seem to realize that he had failed them. He went along with them until Greninja stepped forward and offered its webbed hand to him. Thinking his Kalosian Pokemon was simply going to shake his hand, he took it. But instead of a handshake, Greninja pulled him up off the log and onto his feet, much like he had once long ago.

Ash was so startled that he lost his balance and nearly fell over. Anticipating a nasty fall, he shut his eyes and braced himself for the impact. All of his Pokemon, however, were swift to react and held him up. As they steadied him, his eyes went wide.

For one more brief moment, the negativity returned: the anger, the hatred, the mocking fans. But that moment ended swiftly as he slowly regained his balance and stood on his two feet. The anger subsided, the hatred ceased, and the fans faded from memory as he looked at his Pokemon. They showed neither resentment nor hatred towards him: only admiration and respect.

Finally, he turned towards his best friend, who still sat on the log he was sitting on moments ago. Pikachu looked up at his trainer curiously. Then Ash's face broke out into a big smile as he extended his arm to Pikachu. The little Pokemon eagerly jumped into his arms, and the two of them embraced each other tightly. As they embraced, Ash felt tears falling down his face. These tears, however, were not tears of shame and hatred. They were tears of joy, and they poured down his face like tiny waterfalls as Ash remembered why his Pokemon were loyal to him in the first place.

He looked up at his Pokemon, still embracing Pikachu and crying as he did so. Each of them looked more confident now that he was getting back to being himself. Then he turned and looked at the sunset and the beautiful array it cast across the sky. Pikachu hopped onto his shoulder as he did so.

Ash and his Pokemon spent the rest of the evening staring at the sky, eagerly anticipating where their journey would bring them next. As he looked up, Ash remembered how he felt when he lost the tournament, and how he felt like he had surrendered despite his bold claim that he wouldn't. Now, however, as he looked to the future with his Pokemon, he remembered that the only kind of surrender that mattered was whether or not he surrendered to his defeats and despaired.

That was something he knew he couldn't bring himself to do. He knew there would be times when he would get angry with himself and even hate himself for his failures. And there would always be people who looked down on him no matter what he did. But none of that mattered. He knew who he was, and if he ever forgot, he had his friends and his Pokemon to set him straight. The negative forces that would try to bring him down would never win. They would never succeed. Why was that?

Because Ash Ketchum would never surrender.


End file.
